Sounds like a crazy question I know but it’s amazing how we can all find ourselves avoiding people and places that really annoy or intimidate us – so much so that we really get upset or angry with just the thought of it.
I was working with a client recently and Julie was really getting agitated about that certain someone who she felt was intimidating her at networking events. She really felt frightened of her when she was in this women's presence. Julie felt that this woman thought she was better than others, including her.
So what’s going on here?!!!
The first thing to recognize is, when we think of that person who we think is, intimidating us, disappointing us, rejecting us or making us angry, is to think of it as a gift. Yes, you read it right – a gift.
Why on earth would I say that about someone who is driving you crazy?!!!
Well, hang in there with me a while and I will try to explain how I see it now. I used to get really upset with people to the point of avoiding them at all costs – even when I had to be in the same room with them. Whatever they said to me, the way they looked at me or the way they talked (their tone of voice, for instance), just triggered me off to feeling really bad in some way.
Now I used to blame them …. it was their fault that I was feeling bad because of what they said or they did, wasn’t it?! They were the ones who said those hurtful things that upset me (they weren't thinking about my feelings - they knew it would hurt me!); And they also looked at me in that way – so it was their fault, right?
Well, there’s good news and there’s bad/good news …
Firstly, the bad/good news is: It isn’t their fault or their problem … in fact you may consider it as a gift.
And secondly, the good news is, it isn’t their fault or their problem… in fact, it creates self-awareness and starts to put you in control of your life, your emotions! How great a gift is that?!
Yes, hang in there a minute … I will explain further… Rewind 40 + years…
When I was a highly sensitive little girl, it didn’t take much to upset me. In fact, it was a common occurrence. Was our family perfect? Not in the least. Like most other families, we had our issues; however, I really took things personally and really held onto that feeling when issues arose within my family unit.
I really wanted to make sure I remembered how that feeling felt so that when it happened again, it would help protect me – child’s logic.
But it didn’t protect me… it only hurt me more – not them. Every time my pain was triggered, my stress response was triggered, and my pain was triggered over and over, and over again.
And over the years…
Causing me a whole boatload of stress and generally making me feel anxious or overwhelming sad feelings most of the time. Causing me to restrict my life, my dreams so much I literally froze in place – not really living but not being able to die either.
It had limited my life choices. The older I became the more powerful the unresolved emotional energies (trapped emotions) had over me - restricting my life even more (thinking that they were protecting me and keeping me safe).
But the good news is! I did something about it. I learnt how to heal my unresolved emotional energies stored in my body and rooted in my past (trapped emotions) and therefore, it has given me inner peace and my life back.
I now work with highly successful women, who like Julie, suffer from feeling intimated, judged/criticized, fearful, disappointed, angry, resentful, frustrated, etc. Whatever it is that’s holding them back and restricting them from the life they want to live.
Now, after working with me, Julie is in control of her emotions. Even though there will always be people out there who have their own personal challenges, she no longer feels intimidated or frightened by others - she now recognizes that it is theirs not hers. She now handles situations with confidence rooted in a strong self-belief, without fear and/or stress.
“If you always do what you’ve always done,
you’ll always get what you’ve always got”
Henry Ford (1863-1947) American founder of Ford Motor Company
If you are fed up with your life’s choices, fed up with going nowhere fast due to fears and anxieties, contact me for a FREE Emotional Discovery call to see if I we can work together to help you feel lighter, brighter and more in control of your feelings; Finding that inner peace that has alluded you for so long.
My name is Lorraine M. Biggs and I invite you to join me on your FREE Emotional Discovery call to explore and discover:
Clarity: Both around where you are now and where you want to be
What’s Holding You Back? What Protective/Unhelpful Feeling Are You Holding Onto?
Mining for Gems: During this call, I will guide you through a visualization process to help you rediscover an inner resource. Once rediscovered, this inner resource is yours to help you (within a second) when you most need it.
Contact me here for your FREE Emotional Discovery Session: https://www.lorrainembiggs.co.uk/contact
FREE OFFER: However, if you feel that it's too soon to chat, I do understand. So to help you to get to know me a little better, click here to get your free MP3 recording to help you become a more empowered speaker in an instant: https://www.lorrainembiggs.co.uk/empowered-speaker